摘 要:鑒于高中英语读后续写中动词使用的生动性有待加强,本文分析了造成这一问题的具体原因,探讨了提升读后续写中动作描写生动性的六大应对策略,包括:选择动词、串词成链、转换词性、添加副词、利用“with + emotional noun”结构、使用V-ing作伴随状语等,同时提供了教师在实际教学中可以使用的整合巩固策略。
关键词:读后续写;
动作描写;
教学策略;
生动性
作者简介:许洁婷,女,福建师范大学附属中学,中学一级教师,硕士,研究方向:高中英语教学。
一、引言
综合语言运用能力依托于听、说、读、看、写等方面的语言技能,其中“读”与“写”分属理解性技能和表达性技能。《普通高中英语课程标准(2017年版)》指出:理解性技能和表达性技能在语言学习中相辅相成、相互促进。自王初明教授提出的“续论”获得关注并运用于实践以来,作为新高考重要题型的读后续写已成为广受认可的以“续”促学、以读促写、读写结合的专项促学方法。
读后续写依托的语篇体裁多以记叙文为主,故续写文段中势必需要进一步描绘相关人物的动作。读后续写中动作描写的生动性将直接影响人物的刻画、情节的推进乃至主题的铺陈和全篇续写的质量。有鉴于此,如何帮助高中学生有效地提升英语读后续写中动作描写的生动性是本文探讨的焦点。
二、高中学生在读后续写中动作描写的现状
(一)准确性有待提升
桂诗春和杨惠中两位应用语言学教授在《中国学习者英语语料库》(Chinese Learner English Corpus) 中将主要动词的错误分为:及物性、固定搭配、一致性、谓语、非谓语、时态、语态、语气和情态动词等九种类型的错误。其中,时态错误最为普遍,约占动词错误比率的40.39%;
及物性、固定搭配、非谓语和谓语等错误类型占比皆介于5%至16%的区间;
其余错误率相对较低,均不足5%。
因此,高中教师在读后续写指导中应重视加强学生对于基础词汇、词组搭配、语法和句法的掌握,以逐步降低动词使用的出错率,为整体写作水平的提升打下坚实的基础。
(二)生动性亟待加强
一名高中二年级学生在读后续写(2016.10 浙江)的第二段中是这样描述的:
It was daybreak when Jane woke up. Suddenly, Jane saw something in the distance. As it came closer, Jane saw it. “The helicopter!” Jane said. She jumped and ran to an open area. She called at the helicopter and waved her yellow blouse to it. Fortunately, this time she was seen. Several minutes later, the helicopter stopped on the ground and Tom walked out. When Tom saw Jane, she cried. Jane ran towards her husband and hugged him, “Please never leave me alone!”
以上选段反映了普遍存在的动作描写刻板粗略的现象,这体现在两个方面。首先,择选动词的范围狭小。例如,学生在上文中四次描写人物眼部动作时都使用了see;
描写腿部动作时两次使用run; 该生在三、五两句分别使用了say和call描写嘴部动作。其次,修饰动词的手段有限。文中的动词几乎是孤立出现的,该生未使用适当的词汇或结构加以修饰。
针对高中英语读后续写中普遍存在的择选动词的范围狭小和修饰动词的手段有限所造成的动作描写单调乏味欠生动等问题,教师可运用恰当的策略并设计相应的练习,有针对性地帮助学生进行提升。
三、提升读后续写中动作描写生动性的策略
(一)择选动词
为了让学生有词可选,有话可说,词汇丰富,教师可在日常教学过程中引领学生有意识地积累相应词汇,尝试建立个性化的“常用动词分类词库”(参考图表如下)。
同时,教师可借助适当的强化训练巩固学生所积累的词汇。以下练习要求学生选取方框中合适的词,并将其适当形式填入文中相应的空格。在完成该练习的过程中,学生在语境中加深了对于表达“说”的不同词汇的掌握。
Different words to express “say”
announce, answer, ask, shout, murmur, whisper
Mom stepped into George"s bedroom to wake him up. George opened his eyes and ________, “What"s the time, mom?” “7 o"clock.” Mom ________.
After having his breakfast, George was about the leave home when his mom ________ from upstairs, “George, you forgot your schoolbag!” Carrying his schoolbag on the back, George got on a bus.
On the way to school, a gentleman standing beside him picked up a key on the floor and _________, “Is this yours?” Feeling embarrassed, George nodded his head.
When George got to school, he noticed the gate was closed. It occurred to him that yesterday the head teacher __________ that they would have a day off the next day. “Well, I"d better go home now.” George _________.
(二)串词成链
相较于单一动词,在读后续写中对动作进行拆解,连续使用多个动词组合刻画显得更有层次感、更具准确度、更富生动性。具体使用时,可用两个动词并列 (A and B),也可三个动词叠加使用 (A, B and C),构成动词(作)链,又称“三连动”。2016年浙江省考试说明样题的范文中即出现了类似结构,“He stopped it (the taxi), jumped in with the suitcase and told the driver, "Go to the police station, please."” ,一方面,教师可引导学生多加关注所接触到的语料中两个以及三个动词串连使用的现象;
另一方面,教师可结合读后续写常见的场景和话题设置适当形式的练习。例如:
根据汉语意思完成以下句子。
1. Franklin ________ towards me and __________ his plan. 富兰克林朝我走来并低声讲述他的计划。
2. After the speech, people at present _________, ________ their hands and ______________ the speaker. 演講结束后,在场的人们起立,鼓掌并对演讲者竖起大拇指。
3. Out of curiosity, Mary __________, ___________ the black box and ________ it. 出于好奇,玛丽蹲下身子,捡起那个黑色的盒子并打开了它。
4. He ________ his hands into his pocket, __________ a pack of napkin and ________ it to me. 他将手伸进口袋,取出一包纸巾并递给了我。
(三)转换词性
若使用同一个动词的不同词性将使表达形式更加丰富,呈现效果更出彩。美国作家薇拉·凯瑟 (Willa Cather) 在其代表作《我的安东妮亚》(My Antonia) 中有如下两个句子:
1. We heard squeals, and looking up saw Antonia and her mother coming on the run.
2. He was walking slowly, dragging his feet along as if he had no purpose. We broke into a run to overtake him.
可以看到,学生惯用的动词run亦有名词词性。作者使用了“on the run, break into a run”等名词所在的动词词组。该结构本身具有正式性,适合书面表达使用。教师可以引领学生注重兼具动词和名词的高频词汇的积累,例如walk/ jog可由go for a walk/ jog替换, rush to可以转换为in a rush,cry亦有let out a cry可供替换。
(四)添加副词
副词的重要功能之一即修饰动词,增强表达的准确性。例如,我们可以用“sadly/ disappointedly/ piteously/ loudly/ stormily/ excitedly”等副词修饰cry,以表达不同情感状态下的哭泣。教师可设置开放性的填词练习,让学生进行头脑风暴,填入恰当的副词修饰动词,增强生动性。例如:
1. After hearing that her pet dog had waited for her in the rain for over three hours, Lucy held the loyal dog _______ into her arms.
2. The children got down to decorating Christmas tree __________.
3. When we arrived at the camping place, my little brother couldn"t wait to dash out and ______ urged me to put up the tent.
4. I stood beside the sage _____ and waited for my turn to perform.
教师亦可引导学生优化原先的句子。例如,教师可以启迪学生对此前“三连动”的例句进行升级,“He slid his hands into his pocket, __________(默默地) pulled out a pack of napkin and handed it to me __________(温柔地).”。
另外,教师也可以选取适当的短文,在典型副词处挖空,设置填充练习。
(五)利用“with + emotional noun”结构
学生在实际描写人物动作时不免需要刻画其实施该动作时的情感状态,当然,这可以借助副词达成,例如:
1. The children got down to decorating Christmas tree happily/ joyfully.
2. When we arrived at the camping place, my little brother couldn"t wait to rush out and excitedly urged me to put up the tent.
为了使表述更加丰富多样,教师可以引导学生使用“with + emotional noun”结构。上述两句亦可如此呈现:
3. The children got down to decorating Christmas tree with happiness/joy.
4. When we arrived at the camping place, my little brother couldn"t wait to rush out and urged me to put up the tent with excitement.
教师可以与学生一同收集整合with加上不同情绪词汇的相关表达,并以导图形式归纳。例如:
教师可以邀请学生完成翻译练习加以巩固,或者用“with + emotional noun”结构替换对应副词、教师也可以利用短句或短文并配以适当的图片为学生呈现出微语境,在此前提之下进行空格填充训练。例如:
(六)使用V-ing作伴随状语
教师可以请学生一起观察以下摘自学生读后续写习作中的例句,并思考:在动词使用方面,它们有什么共性?如何将其改写润色?
1. The performers were standing on the stage. They were singing and dancing.
2. Tourists were sitting on the beach chairs. They were breathing the warm sea air.
3. She sobbed bitterly and hided her face in her hands.
观察发现,每组例句中出现的动词的逻辑主语一致,且后面的动作均可以理解为伴随第一个动作同时发生。学生幡然醒悟:这就适合使用V-ing作状语替换后面表伴随状态的动词,使原本割裂的简单句简化合并,更显轻巧灵动。改写后的句子如下:
4. The performers were standing on the stage, singing and dancing.
5. Tourists were sitting on the beach chairs, breathing the warm sea air.
6. She sobbed bitterly, hiding her face in her hands.
对于本文开篇时笔者所摘录的读后续写文段,该名同学针对動词的准确性和生动性进行了提升,润色后的段落如下:
对照于初稿,二稿在取择选动词、串词成链、转换词性、添加副词、利用“with + emotional noun”结构、使用V-ing作伴随状语等方面都有所改善。例如,择选了notice, spot, caught sight of分别替换了四次被使用的see中的三处;
选取了shout, yell, sob分别替换say, call, cry;
第三行有“三连动”的使用;
land词性活用作动词替换了stop;
添加了clearly, desperately, slowly, tightly等副词修饰动词;
用with great joy修饰sob;
末句中hugging him tightly呈现了V-ing作伴随状语。
四、结语
优质的读后续写不但要具备高度的准确性,更应展现出良好的生动度。在高中英语读后续写教学指导中,教师应引领学生在日常学习实践中多加观察、归纳和总结动词的相关用法,同时采取择选动词、串词成链、转换词性、添加副词、利用“with + emotional noun”结构、使用V-ing作伴随状语等六大策略,配合相应的练习加以巩固,帮助学生提升动作描写的生动性,使笔下人物的形象更加鲜活立体,从而推动情节的发展,促使主题的升华。
参考文献:
[1]教育部.普通高中英语课程标准[M].北京:人民教育出版社,2017:35.
[2]王初明.续论高效促学外语的内在逻辑[J].外语界,2021(6):2-7.
[3]桂诗春,杨慧中.中国学习者英语语料库[M].上海:上海外语教育出版社,2003.
[4]王新瑶.高中生英语读后续写任务中动词错误分析[D].河北师范大学,2022.
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